Chapter 18
4:07 AM
They had gone for dinner to an intimate little pub where NK had spent the entire evening making her laugh. They were perhaps well suited that way, as friends. Khushi’s phone started ringing around 12 and it didn’t stop by the time they had exited the little pub and had driven towards Colaba to this amazing club that NK knew. Khushi had her dancing shoes on. They were going to go dancing at the Indigo. Her phone wound up being silenced, on the front seat of NK’s car. As far as Khushi was concerned, that’s where it belonged for the night. Arnav could take his misguided sense of responsibility and shove it where the sun don’t shine. She had the rhythm tonight and NK being the fabulous dancer he was, they were going to have a blast. Mumbai was the city that never slept and tonight... Neither would they.
NK taught her to salsa, the beats thrumming in her blood. She wasn’t awfully good at it but she could certainly dance!The man next to him on the floor cheekily offered to teach her to tango and she laughingly took him up on it while NK cheered on the sides, holding her wine. A mutual acquaintance cut in, spun her in for a quick turn of salsa again while Khushi glowed and NK cheered. Soon the whole floor was dancing. Hot. Sweaty. Liberating. Khushi was having the time of her life and NK Singhaniya was making sure of it. She laughed, panting, as he came down to sit. NK held out a chilled dry white wine for her which she gulped down gratefully. He had a bottle of beer slinging from his fingers. Khushi hated beer but seeing the cold condensation on it... it almost looked tempting at that moment - almost. “What time is it?” she panted out, to the lunatic grinning next to her. NK was in his element, laughing, hooting, hollering, grinning, almost feverishly. If Khushi was feeling fanciful, she would say that her friend was trying to forget something in the midst of all this - but... forget what exactly? She shook her head. No sense prying. Their relationship wasn’t like that. If he meant to tell her - he would and Khushi would give her all to help him. Until then... “About 4 am,” he said laughing. High on adrenaline. High on life? Forcing himself to be? She wasn’t sure anymore. “I better get going... it’s pretty late,” NK shook his head and walked off to pay the bills. Then they companionably walked towards the car and he drove towards her apartment in Mumbai. “You okay?” he asked gently, and she shook her head. Yes. Yes she was tonight.
Her phone lay on the dashboard. Incongruous. She checked it curiously. There were nearly a hundred calls. All from Arnav. Hundred! The texts... Khushi didn’t even bother reading them lest they blew her good mood. What was he thinking? Really? NK saw her checking her phone and quickly surmised what the problem was. He gleefully waggled his eyebrows and turned on his iPod logged to his car where Freddie Mercury sang his heart out about the Killer Queen.
She keeps Moet et Chandon
In her pretty cabinet
'Let them eat cake' she says
Just like Marie Antoinette
A built-in remedy
For Kruschev and Kennedy
At anytime an invitation
You can't decline
Caviar and cigarettes
Well versed in etiquette
Extraordinarily nice
Khushi looked at NK who was enthusiastically singing along with Queen, tapping on the steering wheel and joined in. She too for the time being would pretend that she had no care in the world. The empty road they sped through, the near light of dawn, all worked to cheer her up. She had to thank NK for it someday.
She's a Killer Queen
Gunpowder, guillotine
Dynamite with a laser beam
Guaranteed to blow your mind
Anytime
Recommended at the price
Insatiable in appetite
Wanna try?
The song had come to a halt by the time they arrived at her apartment building and he stopped the car. “Khushi,” he said, laughing. “Now I’m going to be a very good friend to you,” and as she looked at him curiously, he took his thumb and smudged her peony lips. She already knew that the dancing had caused her mascara to run, just a little and she batted away his hands, laughing. What a loon! He mussed up her hair and blew a raspberry at her. As she laughed trying to lash back, he gave her a secret smile and pulled her dress a little, that combined with the damage she had wrought on it dancing - Nothing indecent but it looked as if she had dressed in a hurry or had done something strenuous in it. Khushi rolled her eyes at the insanity of her friend, they hugged goodbye and she went towards the elevator, nodding curtly to the nightguard half dozing fitfully. She’d have to talk to that one tomorrow. Sleeping while guarding. Khushi sighed, and smiled. Ah life! Time to face the music. Although, she was quite sure that he was asleep by, what, she glanced at her phone again - 4.30 in the morning. Which was good because she wasn’t sure that she could handle more unpleasantness at this point of time.
Arnav sat at the Dining Table, his hands clasped in front of him, as he stared vacantly into space. He vaguely remembered another such night, he had spent waiting up for Khushi some weeks back. This time though, Arnav Singh Raizada was stone cold sober. Not one drop of alcohol had been consumed while he had called her up again and again- panic rising in his chest at an alarming speed every time she didn’t pick it up. What had happened to her? Why would she do something like this? He shook his head- No time to think about crap like that. He had to focus on the present. He had to get her to see what exactly she was doing! And he would make sure that she understood the gravity of the situation. He was not going to let some rich kid lead his Khush astray- and away from him. No. NK Singhania would have to go. His time with Khushi was up- and Arnav Singh Raizada was going to make him. He had just decided to call her again- his hand halfway to his cell phone when he heard the door to their apartment open, slowly as if someone didn’t want their arrival announced. He snorted. Yeah, that’s gonna happen. Resisting the urge to bang his phone on the table, he made his way out to the Living Room. Khushi Kumari Gupta was going to understand just what Arnav Singh Raizada was, tonight- and she sure a hell was going to obey him.
What he came across though- stopped him in his tracks. His heartbeat picked up- Hell, his heart was probably beating itself blue against his ribs. His breath caught and his eyes widened. Horror and Panic chased each other through him as he took her in. Her bag was slung over her shoulder as she quietly closed the door and turned, her dress was askew- as if she had done something... in it. Her lips were smudged, the lipstick she had been wearing that evening looked like it had been... licked off. Arnav shuddered. Her Mascara was running, giving her eyes a smoky black look. As if... as if she had cried- as if she had shed tears. He almost clutched at his chest- knowing just exactly what could make a girl cry and look like she had had her lipstick licked off simultaneously. His knees threatened to buckle beneath him in his horror. What had Singhania done to His Khush?!
“Khushi?!” He asked, and she turned towards him, her eyes widening, as she realized that he had been waiting up for her. She stumbled a bit, and he closed his eyes, his nose flaring. That was it! That was the last fucking straw!
“Ar-Arnav?” she asked, slurred more like. Was she... she was drunk! “Why did you wait up?” her voice broke at the last word, and she cleared her throat and smiled a little sheepishly. “I... er... Didn’t I tell you not to wait up, Arnav?”
“Oh Stop!” he said, striding forwards and taking her by her shoulders and giving her a little shake. “What is happening here, Khushi? What are you doing?”
She shook him off, to his surprise and took a step back- looking up at him, a little confused and a little annoyed. “What do you mean Arnav? I had told you that I was going-”
“OUT! YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU WERE GOING OUT! IS THIS THE TIME TO COME HOME KHUSHI?”
“Why are you shouting Arnav? I did tell you I was going out- and not to wait up for me!”
“Why?” he asked quietly. The tone of his voice froze her; Khushi could nearly feel herself getting a frostbite - “So that you can come home looking like that Khushi? Like you rolled off from somebody’s bed?” Her eyes widened, outraged, but before she could add anything he hissed, “Like you had just rolled out of Singhaniya’s bed! Like any other woman off the party circuit. Roll into one bed and wake up in another. What’s wrong with you Khushi? What the fuck are you all about these days? Who do I thank for these.. these changes in you??” This time she had had enough. “What’s good for the goose is good for the gander Arnav,” she added, sickly sweet. “It’s what I’ve learned from you since my late teens. Men roll out of your bed; why not just roll out of theirs?” She could see that it had hit the spot. He nearly staggered. Khushi didn’t react. She wasn’t feeling very forgiving at the moment. “Khushi... no. That’s not what... You aren’t... Khush... you aren’t like that! You were never like that! What has gotten into YOU?” he bit out. “Why Arnav? Because I don’t share your bluer than Danube blood which is your passport to act like a degenerate when you want to? While my blood... or shall I say my mother’s blood means that I should sit quietly in one corner, trying to prove the world wrong about me? Trying to prove to you that I am nothing like her at all? Well, I’m sick of it. You want to call me a whore Arnav? Go on, spit it out!”
She got the reaction she was looking for. Nose flared. Eyes widened. Good. She was gearing for a good fight. “That’s not what I meant and you know it Khushi. Who the fuck would ever call you a whore? Do you even know what that means? GOD! To hear you say that!” he closed his eyes, visibly controlling his out-of-control emotions. “You never had anything to prove to me Khushi. I never wanted you to be anything but you. All that is good in my world. All that is pure. All that is perfect. Nothing can take that away. To belittle it like that! All I wanted to know was what’s wrong? What got into you? Tell me Khushi. Help me understand!” The embers of her temper flared again. The temper that had almost lit out with the guilt she had felt upon seeing his red eyes, disheveled, finger combed hair and strained lips. Knowing that he’s a Type A diabetic. Capable of becoming very ill with things like these weighing down on him. Everything at that moment lit out. Turned to ashes by the pure blue heat of her temper. Hissing. Snapping. Like a live thing. Bent on consuming every living thing in her path. Like he was some fucking therapist. Help him understand! Fuck that! Fuck it! She hissed, “Stay the fuck out of my life Arnav! I’m old enough to do whatever I like. Fuck whoever I like. Roll out of however many beds I like to. It’s my bloody legs and I part them for whoever the bloody hell I want to. DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND THAT ARNAV SINGH RAIZADA? DO YOU? You are not my Father. I am way over the age of consent and hardly a child anymore. Plus NK is hot! He can stroke my fire. Maybe better than other men I know. Why should I fuck him? Whose permission do I need do you think to roll out of his bed into mine? Do I need written notes from you now? Like its some bloody school exercise? God! What’s wrong with you Arnav? Really?” She edged towards him, drilling his chest with her finger, “ You are my boss. Just that. No more. No less. As long as my work doesn’t suffer - and it isn’t - stay the fuck out of my fucking life and let me fuck whoever I want to. If I want to fuck NK Singhaniya’s fucking brains out, it’s my prerogative and don’t you fucking forget it!”
With that, Khushi turned on her heels and stormed to her room. How dare he? It was more than fine when he spent countless nights with Adita Rao without having the bloody courtesy to notify her and not caring two hoots about her staying up nights worrying herself out of her mind about him- and he had gone to ask her about sleeping with NK when she had told him that she was going out and that she would be late. Oh, she could punch something right now!
She was just about to enter her room, when she felt him behind her. And in the next moment she felt his fingers close around her forearm in a steely grip. She was jerked back, and she almost lost her breath as he turned her around bodily to face him. She looked up at him, as she struggled against his large frame, his other hand coming up to clench around her other arm, as he held her in an unyielding, firm grip. His eyes glinted with barely controlled rage, his jaw was clenched and his ears were red. She had only ever seen Arnav Singh Raizada in this particular element thrice in her life- and at those times, she had been beside him, helping him ruin the lives of their opponents. In every way they could. She felt a shiver run up her spine. This would be the first time that he was this pissed with her. But that shiver was followed by a surge of irritation and rage instantly. He could do that pissed off ASR act with all his spineless employees, because it was not going to work on her. And he could take all that righteous crap he had been trying to feed her and scrunch it up into a humongous ball and Shove. It. Up. His. Ass.
Because Khushi Kumari Gupta had just had enough.
She pushed at his chest with all her might, her small hands turning into fists against his chest, as he still held on, immovable. “What. The. Hell. ARNAV?!” She hissed, her voice rising in volume with every word and every shove she gave him. Still he held on. His eyes smouldering. His lips set in a firm line, thin- white. Face bone white. This Arnav Singh Raizada was furious. The worst he could be.
She shoved at him again. her small body wriggling against his large one. Her small fists beating him on the chest when he wouldn’t budge when she pushed, her chin tilting up, her hazel eyes threatening to burn him in their rage. “Arnav. What the fuck are you doing?!” she hissed again, shoving pushing, scratching him. And still he said nothing,
That was it. Khushi lost the semblance of patience she had been barely holding on to. Her fists scrunched his shirt up, holding him literally by the collar, as she hoisted herself up him, her face tilting up so that her nose was almost touching his. Unshed tears filled her eyes, and she shook her head impatiently blinking them away. This was it. “You want to talk about rolling out of beds Arnav?” she hissed in his face, her breath coming in short gasps even as her mind tried to catch up with her tongue. “You want to talk about the appropriate time to come home, you fucking Asshole? What about Adita Rao, Arnav? Did you forget how you and her rolled around in your bed at our house? Did you forget about the fucking roses Arnav?” she could feel his grip tightening around her arms, but still he said nothing. And she continued. “Or did you forget those Supermodels in Hong Kong, Arnav? The woman off of whose navel you were drinking champagne?” His eyes widened slightly. And she took pleasure in it. Vindictive Pleasure. “Yes, I remember that. I remember everything Arnav. You want to know how? Because while you were here fucking their brains out, I was sitting at home, tackling the PR nightmare you had created. I was sitting in Delhi and hearing the Board take fucking potshots at my image! And did I ever say a word about it to you Arnav? I tackled it, smoothed it out- and wasn't it after I had done that that you returned? What about Shomaya? Remember her, Arnav? Or maybe I should first ask you if you remember Keerthika. You would surely Remember her wouldn’t you?” a derisive laugh left her mouth as she saw his eyes widen a bit more. “Yes. I know about them too. Do you want to know how much I know Arnav? Do you really think you were able to save my delicate innocent ears over all this time, Arnav?” She shook her head, and looked up again- the fire in her eyes burning him, scorching him. “Do you remember Parama, Arnav? Your first female Assistant. Did you know she cried after you told her that it had never been really serious? And Dayita? The Junior Journalist who had taken your interview the first time you were nominated for the Businessman of the Year Award? Did you know I had to talk her out of an almost depressed state? Tell her that she was not rubbish? That she was worthy of a man who would love her and cherish her for her whole life!” She laughed again, a maniacal, broken laugh- her head thrown back- even as he gripped her to himself. “Do you know what those women called you, Arnav? Do you remember Serene? The Model- the one who we had met during our Nainital Launch. Yes, the one you conquered the same night in the same hotel. Broke into the new Honeymoon Suite didn’t you, Arnav? Did you know she almost lost her contract with the Panache Fashion House after that? Just because she was obsessed with having a relationship with you? Do you even know what those women call you Arnav? What I have had to hear about you? Do you know how hard it is- when the one person you thought was your world does all that? Do you have any idea how hard it is- to still keep faith in them? To still believe that they would never do anything that would hurt you? Do you, You fucking Asshole? And you have the gall to ask me what I have been doing? You dare to accuse me of being a who-”
“I SAID DO NOT USE THAT WORD, GODDAMNIT!” Khushi froze as Arnav finally let it all out. He had been holding onto his sanity by one single very frayed thread all the time that she had been talking. And when she referred to herself as something as disgusting as... filthy... when she thought that he thought of her like that- that was all he could take. His control snapped. He shook her- and didn’t care even when she winced. She would have bruises on those small delicate arms tomorrow, a small part of him thought balefully, but the rest of him didn’t care. All he cared about at that particular moment was that he had to get her to understand that she was never, and would never be a... he couldn’t even think of the word related to Khushi, Damn it!
“Did I not tell you, Khushi- that you are not a fucking whore? Yes, I remember all of them Khush. I remember them all. Quite perfectly. In fact, I could add a few more names to that spectacular list you came up with. And I also know what they call me. But do you know that right now- all of them- all of them are quite happy in their respective worlds? Do you know Khushi, what I have done to make sure that they’re happy? Parama? She has a daughter now. Lives in her own Flat with her small family. In Delhi. Rajeev Nagar. Do you know what her husband does? I do. Because I hired him. She’s comfortable in her life- and she knows that she owes it to me. Dayita, you said? Dayita is working as Head Journalist and Newsreader for NDTV. Do you know what it took for a small ordinary girl to climb that ladder Khushi? It took a highly influential friendship with the MD of NDTV. Serene, you said? She almost lost her place in Panache. But do you know why she didn’t lose it after all? Because I persuaded her to follow her career. I talked Arbaaz into giving her another chance. She looks good on the Sunsilk Banner doesn’t she, Khush? And do you know why this fucking asshole didn’t let those women get into a relationship with himself? Do you, Khush? No? I’ll tell you. Because I had you to take care of. Because I couldn’t let my bluer than Danube blood ruin your life for you. So that I could be sure that whatever you went on to be- you would be proud of it. Because I couldn’t afford to lose my only family over a few fucks, you fool!”
He was shaking when he finally let go of her arms. He drew a deep calming breath, and raked his fingers through his hair. But then, he froze at her next words. And Arnav Singh Raizada realized, that it was, in fact, possible to climb beyond white hot rage.
“A regular Jesus Christ, aren’t you Raizada?” she sneered, temper spinning out of control. Eyes snapping with untethered heat. “You talk a good game Arnav. Don’t forget, so do I. I’ve learned it all from you. I’ve spent years spinning your stories to have you coming out smelling of roses from the PR nightmares you create. Why the fuck should I believe you? You are nothing but another man who can’t keep it in his pants when an attractive face walks by!”
Khushi didn’t see the cruel set of lips lunging for her mouth. Took her a fraction of a second to realize that it had, in fact settled on hers. Then the rush of heat climbed. That consumed. That made her want to climb out of her skin, into his. To sweat pearls on her skin. Sheened. Gasp with breath while he forced his way into her mouth. The stinging sweetness of him biting down on her bottom lip, tongue tangling. Sucking on it. Hands all over. Stroking. Clutching. Grasping. She knew that her nails were sinking into his shoulders. She exalted in it even as Arnav decided it wasn’t enough. No. It was not the chaste kiss from a week ago. It was fiery. It bled of want. Sought more. He hoisted her up by her waist while her legs dangled and then, on their own volition settled around his waist, tightening. Securing him against her. While he devoured her mouth. His hands sought and molded every inch of her body. The heat! Khushi could feel it burn her up! Consume her. Ask for more. She would give into anything now. She knew it. Even as he turned her around and she felt herself bang against her wall, near the dressing table. She experimentally put one leg on the tabletop while other rested on the little velvet footrest next to them while she was pinned against the wall like a willing butterfly on a slide by Arnav Singh Raizada. Exposed. Heated. She felt something hard. Him! Resting against the core of her and gasped. Felt him flexing.
She gasped again and moved to adjust herself against him more. Rubbing. While his mouth devoured her. Her hands searched all over him. Memorising his body, committing each sinew to her mind until Arnav couldn’t take any more. He pinned her wrists over her head with one hand, while his placed open mouthed kisses on her neck. Nibbled on that particular place where her neck and shoulder met, sending goosebumps over her already present ones. She shuddered and his mouth claimed her once again. Burning up. She remembered a half forgotten line that seemed to make so much sense at that moment, even while Arnav’s strong, sure hands made sure treks over her breasts... caressing them over her dress. Pulling the expensive lace down like it was tissue. Loosening the neckline... It’s better to burn out than fade away. Well... she gasped as he bit her bottom lips again... Tongues tangling. Hot. Breath mingling. This was no polite, sweet kiss from last week, she thought hazily... she definitely had no fear of fading away anymore. He was lighting her up like a firecracker. Arnav settled her more comfortably against him as her legs wrapped around his waist again. She gasped, feeling him... there and her head lolled back. Burnout, indeed.
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